Two years ago, I heard one of the wisest pieces of advice I’ve ever heard. It came from a retired man on a YouTube video imparting wisdom to younger people. The line that stuck with me from that video: ‘The World Doesn’t Have To Understand You’.

His rationale was that, in general, most people don’t have to know everything about you, nor should you explain yourself to others. At the time, I was operating on the wrong assumption that absolute transparency about my life was the best policy. I thought that posting frank updates on social media would make me more liked or bring me closer to others. I would also announce my every move thinking these updates made me more authentic, virtuous and liked. Authentic I was. Virtuous? Maybe. Liked? Not so much. In reality, I was engaging in cycles of people-pleasing.

But further along, there was another observation: Most people around you, including family, friends and acquaintances, are constantly judging you. The human animal cannot help but judge. Others will use that against you. The more directly I posted about my life, they more others distanced themselves. I’m sure I lost some ‘friends’ during this period of absolute honesty.

That old man was right and his advice hit me like a lighting bolt. You’re entitled to your opinions but also your privacy. Setting boundaries of what people know about you is a very healthy practice. Running your mouth will not make people like you more. Now I say less on social media. Share less. I am now a very different person from who I was a decade ago. And the moral judgements of people who are not in my life aren’t welcome. They’re detrimental to my current growth.

I’ve also learned to not announce any projects until I’ve taken action. This is the policy by which I will abide moving forward. So, dear internet stranger, the world doesn’t have to understand you. I feel much freer these days. And I experience serenity by heeding that man’s sagely words.